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My Brutal Romance

May. 11th, 2008 | 05:21 pm
location: In a shoe
mood: crazy crazy
music: Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance

Oh My Gerard Way. I saw them live on Friday and I know it's like two days late to post about it now but oh well. They were amazing..I was almost in tears when I saw them. The concert was very very very special to me because not only was it the first concert I went too..but it also helped my intensify my determination to one day perform like they did. Also, two bands played before them and they were Taking back Sunday and Drive by. TBS wasn't my all time fave but they were ok. Drive By was really good and I think I found a new fave band xD. I also noticed how much more beautiful Gerard Way is in person haha. So I was in the mosh pit and things weren't really that crazy luckily. There were some mean people there but there were nice gals (Kelly and Rebecca). I was kinda sad though because I was making these hearts at him and he didn't really seem to acknowledge or smile back or wave..lol I wish he did. But then again he might have thought I was some teenie weenie who was there only cuz they're all so hot. Well them being very attractive is a bonus but I really do enjoy their songs because I can relate to so many of them and the meanings behind the songs are incredible. No they are not emo fags. They're great people and really care for their fans. I really look up to them even though so many people out there hate them. Well I'm gonna keep in mind what he said at the concert. I'm not gonna give a fuck to what anyone says and I'm never gonna let anyone take me alive. Anyway, yesterday was their last concert for the Black Parade and it was sooo amazing. LOL poor Gerard..he's always dying his hair so many different colors..his hair must be dead..yes he dyed his hair black again and grew it out like when they first appeared as a band. I still can't believe I saw them in person..it's still sooo surreal to me. And everytime I lift up my head, I see him singing above me on stage looking right at me. I dunno why but at that moment I seriously I wanted to make my own band so bad..I guess it's a really weird calling? Lol..oh and when they sang "Cancer" I was yelling out this girl's name who had passed away this year due to bone cancer. Yea she was a fighter..didn't know her personally but she did raise alot of money for that cause. Actually..I think if we got there like really early, we could have had a chance to speak with MCR. Then I know..I definitely would cry. Haha, I prolly would have freaked them out so much..but I've seen vids of them with fans..they seem really sweet. Oh and Congrats to Gerard on his marriage (which I just found out about like two days ago -__-; ) and Mikey whom I think is getting married in like a couple of days? Not exactly sure but I hope those lovebirds are being all...lovey dovey? lol yeah..Well I guess this is basically it..Oh and I can proudly say that this is undoubtedly the most fantastimagically supercalifragilisticexpealidociously most exciting thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Thank you MCR..you brought me back from the dead <3333 XOXOXOX TO ALL YOU GUYS AND CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR NEXT ALBUM..oh and like you told us, stay alive xD <3333


Feb. 27th, 2008 | 08:45 pm
location: In my giggly toe
mood: accomplished accomplished
music: none

Hi thar..just wanted to say hi again =D. So it's just another average day today, but i've been productive which is an outright lie because i am a lazy ass fart bag who needs to stop procrastinating and i feel like crap. Soo anyway i love my boyfriend and my life and my future sex ♥. I LOVE THE WORLD. yuus i am downwright insane and PROUD betches. izz chris crocker all over again harharhar ♥ someone..help me write something sane in this entry or at least something interesting or relevant to life..im losing it...ahhhhh..this journal entry is so pointless..i might as well just not have written anything at all..sorry for basically wasting your life to anyone who even cares to read my entries lol..oh well..I shalt go off to eet elves..farewell =D ♥


Feb. 20th, 2008 | 01:39 am
location: in my room
mood: ditzy ditzy
music: I love my sex - Benny Benassi

yah..wow..i dun like ever post do i..=/ hm..oh well anyway so i think alot of stuff has happened..not really..well i have a boyfriend now and he's my everything and i like love him so much..but i'm also a part of the fineboys community so i feel guilty everytime i take a gander at those luscious..beautiful..young and gorgeous..defined..ohmy..*pant* ok enough of that, you get my flo'. this is a really crappy looking entry cuz i'm not bothering to spell check..i should make my entries more pretty oh well..omgosh i could go on about him..he even wrote journal entries about me and serenaded me..he's such a geek and he's so effing hot..i can't believe i got a white boyfriend who's flippin' hot and has a great personality...is this for real? am i being punk'd?? O.O. who needs azn hottiez when i got this piece of man meat..(even though i still gawk at those other sexy boiis). i also noticed how sexual i am around my boyfriend..it's half embarrassing and incredibly funny..from what my other friends say, he claims that i'm basically the guy in the relationship..maybe he likes being dominated because when i advance on him, he doesn't say much. or maybe he's just trying to be nice and not say how much of a scary freak i am..this really is a crappy looking entry..sorry. wow i badly need new icons..D= i need to get my friends to fix that up for me cuz i am like technologically retarded..speaking of retarded, ya'll should go watch idiocracy..izz a GREAT movie..i was gonna watch it with a friend but that FRIEND blew me off..lol..well we didn't make real plans..well we kinda did..i'm not pissed just kinda sad that we can't hang and watch all those kid movies we planned to watch *tear tear* oh well..omgosh i'm getting the package my boyfriend sent me tomorrow *excited* then i'm gonna send him a package back on white day. it's a japanese holiday where you give back to your valentines day givers so yah izz pretty cool. typing is fun cuz i like to move my fingers buahhaa..izz like the only excercise i'm getting..ugh i need to go out more..i wanna party dammit...i need my drivers permit..wow 1 am makes me incredibly whiny..urrgh..i need to go stare at some more hot boiis..omgosh i found this video of a sex scene with johnny depp..and like even if he's old enough to be my dad, he's so damn FINE. omgosh..he can set anyone ablaze with his looks..i heard rumors where he turned this one actor he worked with homosexual with a touch of his hand..hell that would be me too =P anyway enough with my riff raff..i'll try to post more..so later ya'll and sweet dreams <33

Goals in meh sad sad life..xD

Sep. 9th, 2007 | 09:12 pm
location: I don't know D=...
mood: bouncy bouncy
music: Itoshii Hito - Miyavi

Hallo everyonz, tis I the great Cannoli Cramboli...just thought I could try to make a grand entrance..can't blame me for trying..so hah..*point point* I pwn yew >=D..anywho, I dun want to bore you with another mundane journal entry so I thought I could spice things up a bit, or make it bland by showing you my goals in life. Yes. I have goals, hard to believe but vewy troo. And if you're wondering about my strange speaking, never mind it, I'm just high on air again..(oh bother)

And now *drum roll* the goals that I have set for myself.

1. Become a singer

Honestly, for me, there's nothing like belting or screaming out emotion filled notes and people knowing what you're saying to them without having to go into a long conversation about it. The feeling...just..you have to feel it to understand it.

2. Study fashion

Well, I guess nothing can really go the way we plan, shmuck happens. So, an alternative career for me would be, becoming a designer. I have loadz of sketches with ideas of clothing that I can imagine on models walking down the runway with all these interesting themes, patterns, designs, etc. What's great about this job is all the inspiration that's around you. Like, I love to look at something and have all these interesting, weird, ideas pop up in my head and it gets me so excited...hehe yea. xD But, I dun think I'm the most fashionable in my school, usually I wear comfy clothes like a plain big T-Shirt and jeans. Ah well, hopefully what I'm wearing will become a huge fashion statement in my school and I won't have to worry anymore xD. *kills abercrombie*

3. Befriend a yummy azn boi ♥

I hope I don't sound shallow or anything, but I haven't really found an azn guy friend that I found attractive...I mean, I guess their ok, but my tastes are just different. But, they're very sweet and fun to hang around with so I guess I'll choose them anyday over some snobbish hawt..beautiful...azn...*ahem* anyway, yea, we have a couple of hawt azn dudes at our school but, I guess they aren't really the open type. I just wish they were weird more often, I would feel so much more comfortable trying to talk to them. But then again, I haven't had the best experiences with them xD. I guess, if I was hot to them, they might approach me more often..or it would give me a hella easier time talking to them <<;. If I was to ever have a sexy azn guy as a close friend, it would like, make me feel so accomplished xD. Pathetic? yes. But ya'll still love meh. =B

4. Get the most awesomest cosplay outfit in the world.

Heheh, dunno if such a thing exists but I shalt keep looking~ Mmmhm, I luff cosplaying cuz it's like Halloween for adults, and the costumes are sexier and cooler =P So I ain't all dork. Or maybe I am. Anywho, my cosplay outfits haven't exactly been the best cuz it's like impossible to find a great outfit here in America at a reasonable price without spending my life's savings on it T_T. Maybe, I'm like really really really lucky, I'll find like the ultimate cosplay outfit lying in the middle of the street, in perfect condition...*dreamz*....Reality is just too cruel T_T.

5. Learn different accents.

I looooove using accents. They're just so fun and intriguing. I love how people pronounce certain words differently and ooooh >w< *squee* My favorite accent is the British accent and I desperately want to fool someone British, that I'm actually British xD. It will be hella hard though. I could be from a different country everyday, teh aweshomenesssss =3.

6. Give both my brothers a black eye.

Every sisters' dream.

7. Get over stage fright.

I know if I ever want to become a singer, this will be the most crucial xD. Everytime I start singing in front of people, I literally feel like I'm about to collapse and explode. I hate hate hate it ><;. I guess I just have to keep practicing until it just disappears.

8. Sleep more.

Still workin on it -___-;

9. ♥♥♥♥ Have Miyavi's babies ♥♥♥♥

Who wouldn't @.@.


..who wouldn't want a piece of that shizz..


And that's about it so far xD. Can't think of anymore..meh brain is dead from overload of homework and lack of sleep...Well, I guess I'll see you guys later then =)

♥♥ Buh-Bye ♥♥
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Sep. 3rd, 2007 | 07:44 pm
location: Yo monkey's ass
mood: bitchy bitchy
music: Sakurairo - Angela Aki

Wow, ok I have not posted on this site in a while and I am terribly sorry about that..Anyway, nothing much has happened, just saw some cute dudes, talked with friends, hung out, etc. If something really exciting did happen, I would post it all over the internet or something or make a national headline out of it, because it would be a miracle if something thrilling or exciting ever happened to me. Speaking of which, I have always watched these movies where like, there's this average Joe or plain Jane, who has all these incredible things happen to them like, a movie star runs away from his/her home and comes to live in a small suburban area and the people have to hide him and all these comical, thrilling, scenes show up or something like that. I've always imagined that a movie character is like...waiting in my closet because it was used as like a weird portal device and I have to find some way to get them back to where they were. My fantasy would be Captain Jack Sparrow waiting there *giggle* Oh man, it would be awesome to travel around town with him and claim that he is my uncle 5 times removed and I can just imagine all the silly things he would start doing..hehe, yesh, I am a complete nerd~ Grrr...one day and my summer vacation is over and my stupid school year will start. I have a bad feeling about this year..I mean, sure I FINALLY get to have a class with one of my closest friends whom I haven't had one with, in like...three years *rolls eyes* But I have all these other really crappy classes..grr..zomgosh I have to get out of chorus this year..man it sucked monkey toes. Could've used that precious time to do all my late homework xD. I slack off too much..ha, I goal to set for myself, which I will never accomplish =D. I quit on goals, I'll only dissapoint myself in the end >>;. Anywho, I'm running out of things to say so I'm gonna..............................................................................................................................................................................possibly............................................................................................perhaps......................................................................................................................................................................................................................sucka.

Moving on

May. 8th, 2007 | 08:30 pm

    When you know that the person you used to want to die for, really dislikes you and talks behind your back, it hurts like hell. Hahah. I probably don't have to even say it. For some reason, it took at least this enormous amount of pain, to finally be able to let go of him. I don't know how to describe myself..pathetic? hopeless? I really don't know. To see everyone else be able to get along with him and know that you're the only person who can't...the feeling..can't possibly be put into words. And you just don't know why you can't be friends with him..you just know there has to be a reason..but it just never shows itself. You're just constantly thinking about what went wrong. why? and it just kills you to keep thinking about it. I wish he would stop disliking me so much, but that's unreasonable. Not everyone can like you, but I just wish he wouldn't make it so obvious that he doesn't want to be around me. Is it really so neccessary as to dodge me in the halls when there is no one else but me? Am I REALLY that bad to be around? He barely knows me and he doesn't like me. And I don't even know if I'm over him, I still cling onto him like an idiot and I hate myself, yet I can't help it. I wish I never liked him in the first place. I just wanna move from this place sometimes and leave everything behind and start a new life. I wanna forget all the pain and meet new people and hopefully find happiness there. Maybe all this suffering is a sign for me..to finally just get out of here. I'll miss my friends dearly..but there could be so much more out there. I don't know..I really don't know...

Weird Stuff

Apr. 29th, 2007 | 07:50 pm

    I've been hearing a lot lately about hypnosis and stuff and that there's a certain technique called "Past Life Regression". I used to think all that was BS but..now..I've been curious about what I would have been in a past life, if it could explain the situations and things that happen in my life now. But then again, what if through that, I come to find out how, why, when, and where I would die? Kinda depressing, but yet, it intrigues me, and I want to do it. I'm not really those people who are like really into psychics, fortune tellers, and etc but lately, they've been all catching my attention. I even feel like running out and buying those ouji boards or however you spell them, and trying them out. Maybe the reason for all of this is because I'm so fed up with this life, perhaps I could find some comfort or refuge in the "other world". That reminds me, I still have a stack of Tarot cards sitting around in my house somewhere, I should bring em' out again. Who knows, maybe tomorrow, I'll start worshipping the Egyptian gods, or perhaps I can start right now. I always did favor Anubis. I hope this does not offend anyone who is Christian, Catholic, etc. Anyway, I'm gonna go look at some more stuff about all this and then sleep. Later.


Apr. 8th, 2007 | 06:13 pm
location: ..Falling with the soft rain...
mood: stressed stressed
music: ~Endless Rain~ X Japan


    ...Spring break is almost over *sighs*..it's so sad. Before I was nearly bored to death because I had absolutely nothing to do at home..and now it's gone. Tomorrow I go back to school and start the torture all over again. Blech. Well I guess it's true that you don't know how valuable something really is until it's gone..T_T Anyway enough with me whining haha. Nothin' much has really happened except a couple of days ago a close friend of mine who I've never met before but is really sweet suggested that I write lyrics to background music to keep myself busy. You see, the reason for that is because, before, we were talking about our futures and goals and mine of course is to do something in the music industry, more specifically become a musician/singer. His goal was to kick a bird <<;;;..(dun ask)..After that interesting conversation, I gave him a url to a music video which was made with the background music of Silent Hill. The name of it was "Theme of Laura"..wait...does that still make it background music?? O.o..Ah, whatever. Anyway I am like..literally in love with Akira Yamaoka's music..jeez he is a GENIUS. The music is soooo incredibly beautiful..so sad too T_T..makes the Silent Hill games really creepy...><. So my friend he also knew of Silent Hill and he also shared other pieces of music from the game and that's where the idea originated that I should write lyrics. I thought this would be a really cool thing to do and I jumped right into it. Wow..what an idiot I was. I don't know if this is true but..I feel like some pieces of music were written that way for a reason, you know being lyricless..Or maybe that's just the side of me making up excuses so that I can cover up my failure and guilt of giving up. I seriously..tried so hard...to make lyrics to the song..but it really ended up just being poetry lines and it didn't match up with the beats and everytime I tried to make it match, it sounded incredibly corny =/. I mean, of course, lyrics are a form of poetry but still..meh..to put in simple words..I felt like my lyrics were a well crafted piece of crap. If that makes any sense...yea, so I was incredibly frustrated and I told him my theory that some musical pieces just aren't meant to have lyrics and he taunted me for giving up, and I probably deserved it, but it still made me feel pretty crappy and pissed off. But I just didn't say anything and I told him I'd try again..and I did...still didn't work..so now I guess..I gave up? It's still like..haunting me...I can't get it out of my mind..either that or, I'm just really bugged about someone saying that I gave up..weird..I don't know..maybe I'll try again after some training or something. It will probably be easier then. Whatever, I'm not gonna think too much about it cuz it's gonna drive me insane...hm..too late already am =P. Wow..I wrote a heck of a lot...grrr..I have to get back to my stupid english project and stop procrastinating. T_T I need to stay more commited to things gah..><;;..well at least there's a bright side, I get to see my friends tomorrow and recieve stuff they got for me from traveling..whoot for candy and cute mechanical pencils =3...yea..i'm so azn =). Well I'll post later if anything exciting comes up..until then, Avoir my lovelys~

Can't think of a good title...

Apr. 1st, 2007 | 08:10 pm
location: ...floating in the endless light...
mood: calm calm
music: ~Hey My Friend~ Tommy Heavenly6

I don't really know what to call this post, I don't want to go with anything too dramatic nor something too dull, so yea. I really need to post to my livejournal more often >>;. I'm so bad with commitments it's quite pathetic -_-;;;. Anyway, yea, spring break started for my school and I'm just relaxing, well almost relaxing because I still have some work to do. Blech, I really hate having all this stuff during my resting period >> I know it's gonna get much worse as I grow older and go to college T_T. Thinking about college makes me pretty sad because then I have to say goodbye to all of my friends and who knows the next time I'll actually be able to see them again. Then, after college is over, I'll be on my own in the world and I'll have to get a job, pay taxes, make sure I don't live on the streets and gah. It's too stressful thinking about it. *sighs* Well at least I have some creative skills so I won't completely fail at life. Well, then again, I'm not completely alone because I have the Lord at my side and all I need to do is trust in him and follow where ever he may lead me too. Well, that brings some comfort into my heart haha, whew. Maybe in college, I'll meet a really nice guy and we'll fall in love, haha, cliche >>;. I hope I'm not expecting too much, I mean I want him to be really nice, have a great sense of humor, love me for who I am, understand me, and be really hot. T_T I hope I don't sound like a evil person. Sometimes girls just really suck, I mean we won't really go out with a guy unless he's hot =/. Then again some guys are like the same way..-_-. I wonder if my expectations for a guy is unrealistic. What if my definition of "hot" is distorted?..Gah, I don't know ><;; brain overload. All I know is I wanna be really happy in the future, with a person that I really love and he loves me back, a great job (something in the music industry, like singing =D), a cozy home, and being surrounded by great friends. Wow..corny much? Anyway I don't really know what else to write, I'm just writing whatever comes to mind at the moment and it's fun =D. Perhaps I'll think of more things but until then, later earthlings =) <3.


Mar. 21st, 2007 | 05:54 pm
location: in a pool of blood that is not my own...
mood: crappy crappy
music: yo mama

.....I just posted all this @^&$%$^$%&%$^%$^$*$%^%^%$ing info and it's GOOONNNEEE GAAAAHHHHH *suicide*
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